What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

True - how I loved my mum!

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

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“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do you know what she said mum?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What! how could you do that?

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So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Why am I so triggered and depressed over a minor thing?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What do you mean son?

I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!