What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why didn't my ex fight for our relationship? He gave up so easily.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you know what she said mum?

Why are Christians quick to say that there are a lot the gay Christians that exist NOW and use that to pretend that Christianity is just loving to gays when the last 40 years of my life they been horrible?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Do you remember one day, you put a deep smile on someone's face and made them very happy?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

There is any scientific evidence that we live in a sphere. Why do others say that we lives in a flat Earth but there is no evidence that they have proven the existence of a flat earth?

What! how could you do that?

What do you mean son?

True - how I loved my mum!

How can you maintain self-control?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.